This morning I woke up, and something hit me like a bag of rocks. You see, when I lay down and attempt to go to sleep, my mind starts racing. I think about the past day – if I learned something, if I helped someone, and so on. Lately, with this pandemic and being on lockdown, I have been depressed and a little lazy.
So, I got up, and was like, “Leonard, what are you doing? Your life isn’t over, and whatever happens, is in God’s hands. Get your butt up and be positive.”
I started thinking about what I was going to share with the older men I mentor, who have also been a little depressed. Most feel if they are over 40, their life is over. What I’m going to share just isn’t for the older men here in prison, it’s also for my viewers who may be over 40, and who, too, may be a little depressed!
Here is an excerpt of what I shared this morning with these men.
“Good morning, and let’s talk. It’s December 1st, and the year is almost over. Wow! What a damn year 2020 was!
Most of us in this room are over 40, some over 50, and a few are over 60 years old. Life has passed us by so fast. All of us have lost friends, family, and a lot of money. We have come to realize that it’s a little too late to go back in time, and relive the years we have wasted in prison.
So, despite everything, let us try to enjoy the remaining time we have left. Let us keep looking for activities that we like. Let’s put some color into our gray. Let’s smile at the little things in life that put balm in our hearts. See, despite everything, we must continue to enjoy, with serenity, the time we have left here on earth.
So, let us leave nothing for later, because we will still be waiting to see later. We will lose the best moments, the best experiences, the best friends, and the best family. The day is today. The moment is now. We are no longer at the age where we can afford to postpone what needs to be done right away. So let us stop complaining, and stop being depressed. Let’s live life, and not just exist.
I want viewers to understand the mental/reality of incarceration. By no means do I want viewers to feel sorry for inmates. That’s not the intention of this blog. I agree with the saying, “Do the crime, do the time.” What I do want, however, is for society to know and understand that the court system is messed up, and needs a major change. The courts are bullsh*t…especially federal courts when it comes to the way that they prosecute. If someone didn’t die, get molested/raped, or seriously injured, a first-time offender should NEVER get a sentence of 10-years-to-life! Seventy percent of most federal prison sentences are given to adults who sold drugs to adults – not children, bank robbers, and wanna-be street hustlers. But the government sells drugs 24/7 to adults and kids, and will NEVER get in trouble, as it’s all about the money. They write the laws to imprison everybody else. Ain’t that a b*tch?
I want viewers to understand that everybody makes mistakes, and if you break the law, yes, your @ss needs to be locked up to learn a lesson, but not for the crazy amount of time that the courts – especially the federal courts – dole out. I want viewers who have never been to prison to read my book, “Welcome to Prison”, and share it with their kids, families, friends, and on social media. I want viewers to see into the mind of an inmate stuck in his/her cell overthinking, and replaying their lives over and over: how the inmate thinks about his family and wishes for a second chance. I want viewers to feel the pain that comes from years, or even decades, behind bars for crimes they committed, and for ones they didn’t. I want viewers to feel the pain that comes with years of being abandoned by so-called friends and family, because you’re outta sight and outta mind. I want viewers to feel the HURT of not seeing your children for years, and watching them grow up from afar. Viewers need to understand that if you show any kind of weakness in prison, it can cost you your reputation, and even your life. I want viewers to experience working in a factory or prison job – making cents on the dollar, barely enough to buy a good, healthy meal, or enough money to call home. I want viewers to feel the hurt and embarrassment of asking family, friends, and loved ones for money, when you know damn well they don’t have it, and are barely making it themselves – all while wishing you could do something to help them.
I want society to feel the pain of knowing you’re more than what your crime is, but how you have wasted years, praying, and hoping for a helping hand with getting great ideas off the ground – not having the support and opportunity. I want society to understand the stories, and real reasons why so many black and Latino people are incarcerated. I want to take you to areas of poverty in the United States of America, the best country on earth so they say, that pushes the youth to the streets, and into breaking the law before they suddenly realize the f*cked-up consequences that nobody told them about. Let us talk about the parents and family who were on crack, and other hard drugs, and didn’t raise their kids the right way. Let us talk about the way the police beat and kill black/brown people so much, and nothing is being done. OH, let us talk about how men/women with no criminal record, who want to do all the right things in life, can’t find good-paying jobs, and are forced to do WHATEVER it takes to feed, clothe, and help their families. THAT’S INCARCERATION, VIEWERS!
It’s more than breaking the law, getting arrested, and coming to jail, and prison. It’s mental: feeling entrapped, restricted, and having no hope.
Advocate / Mentor
Leonard E. Love