Today, January 17, 2023, I met with my younger mentees, ages 18-25. We were supposed to go over the pre-GED test that the mentorship has been helping them with. But when I walked into the room, they were all loud and talking about which black female celebrity had the biggest butt, prettiest face, and who they would want to have a child with. I sat there and listened. Then, I asked them to name some black women who had changed the lives of millions, and who had done some remarkable things. Most named Beyoncé, Serena Williams, and Cardi B. I said, “Okay, but name some others who are not so famous.” They all sat there, and looked at me with a dumb look on their faces.
Then the conversation switched to how they feel a woman should be a woman and not try to act like men: how they need to just shut up and be pretty, how they should focus on having babies, raising the kids, and being submissive to men; how they shouldn’t try to be the CEO of a company, a leader, or the president of the United States. I sat there and then I laughed LOUDLY and said, “You young men do know it’s 2023, and not 1950, right? Now I know ain’t NONE of you really think that way, as you must’ve heard your fathers, uncles, or some ignorant men in your lives talk like that, and you’re just repeating what you heard.”
The following is an excerpt from the rest of that conversation:
“Gentlemen, first of all, do you know that this country, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, has had MANY
amazing black people, including black women, who have done some pretty unbelievable things that I know none of you would have the balls to do? Do you know who Harriet Tubman, Madam CJ Walker, Coretta Scott King, and Dr. Mae Jemison are?” They all shook their heads.
One young man said, “Well, I heard of Coretta and Harriet Tubman, but what’s so great about them?”
I smiled and said, “Well, let me quickly educate you men on who these black women were.”
“First of all, Harriet Tubman freed hundreds of slaves, maybe even thousands, back during slavery. She also helped white people who believed in freeing black slaves. Guess what? She was 4’11” tall, and had narcolepsy, so she would fall asleep easily. She carried a big pistol and had a $40,000 reward on her head, if captured alive or shot dead. She had bigger balls than any of us in this room, and she risked her life to save others, which I know NONE of you would do, as most of you are selfish.”
You should have seen the look on their faces.
“Next, gentlemen, is Madam CJ Walker. Some say she was the first black woman in the United States, back in the early 1900’s, who was a millionaire and guess from what? She created hair care products for black people in her kitchen.”
The young men’s faces lit up when I said she was a millionaire.
“Coretta Scott King was the wife of Martin Luther King. She never remarried or even dated another man EVER after his death. She was a philanthropist whose famous quote is used all over the world: ‘The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.’ Last is Dr. Mae Jemison, who was one of the first black female astronauts.
All of these women were black and did great things. So now you understand. You need to learn your history before you speak down on black women or on any woman, as if a woman can’t be a great person or hold a powerful position. Also, for you men who have daughters, you wouldn’t want a man disrespecting them would you? All your daughters are all going to grow up, and if they are qualified to be the president of the United States, or a CEO of their own company, what are you going to tell them? ‘Oh, you’re a woman and you wear a bra and panties, so you can’t do that!’”
I think I made my point to the young men :).
Advocate/Mentor
Leonard E. Love